Guess Who Is Really Back
05.24.05 || 1:59 p.m.
Wow, here I am ready to write a true long entry for the first time in probably over a year.
Before I start anything I want to send major huggles over to my Lissy!! Hunni girl, I know you are going through a lot right now and I hope you know that I am here for you if you need me... and I love you to pieces.A lot has happened since I left this place. Prom, graduating, my last summer before college, my freshman year of college, and now moving into my own place. Of course, the big thing everyone wants to know about is Chris. Him and me are no longer anything. I really don’t even talk to him anymore. There was a lot of drama and I thought maybe that something could keep going on between us but I didn’t want to deal with it so I was done. I moved on and been single for probably almost a year now. He had lied to me about a lot of important things that he should have told the truth about. So yes, I am part of that club that gets deceived by people on the Internet. However, I don’t regret what he did for me and how he made me feel for that time period. I just sometimes regret a lot of the feelings I had and a lot of things that I told him that I would have rather told someone who really could be truthful to me. For everyone who told me something about him that had to do with what happened such as he was lying to me and blah blah blah, yes you were right now you can feel happy about that.But everything has changed now. I have met this GREAT guy! There is a past behind him but he is being honest and truthful with me. He knows about Chris and everything I have been through and he is being patient and gentle with me. That makes him so irresistible. I love the way he treats me and how he makes me feel. I have never felt this way with someone. It’s like he makes me want to act a different way and just let everything go and truly be myself and open up to people. Here’s a pic of my new Hunni!!! XHis name is Aaron and he is 25. He came up to me in the mall. I work at the mall here in Clarksville and he was there at one of those little kiosk things trying to sell picture packages. (That’s what he does... he’s the Director of Operations for this picture company... at least I think that’s what he is.) He stopped me as I was walking back from the food court on my break and we just started talking. We talked for the rest of my break. Since I was working all weekend I got to see him the rest of the weekend. Although we were getting close he kept telling me that I shouldn’t get attached since he was leaving in a week anyways. (He travels A LOT.) So, I was like well ok just a guy to get to know. It ended up he fell for me quicker then I could ever imagine. I haven’t gone a day without talking to him since. Wow, now that I think about it... it’s been almost a month since we met. So he left the Saturday after we met. He told me he had a surprise for me. I went to see him on his last day here and I about cried... I really didn’t want him to leave. But then he called and told me that he was coming back he just wasn’t going to tell me when... it was going to be a surprise. At first I really didn’t know if he was really going to come back. After the whole Chris thing I have a hard time trusting people especially guys. Well, he came back. He called me one night when I was eating my dinner and he goes “what are you doing?” I told him I was eating dinner and he said “why didn’t you just wait for me?” I told him he wasn’t here so it would be hard to eat dinner with him, he goes “well, actually im here whenever you want to come see me.” I was so excited but also really scared. About half an hour later I went to pick him up and I got to finally see him and touch him again. I was so happy. We came back to my apartment and just sat together for hours. We barely talked but that was fine with me I just wanted to hold him and know that he was here. I loved it.He was only here for the weekend, so we didn’t have a lot of time but we made it count. Saturday night we went out to dinner after he got done working. After dinner we came back to the apartment again because we were going to watch a movie. We were standing outside when we first got here so he could smoke real quick. I was standing in front of him and he was said “I’m going to do what I’ve been wanting to do for a while.” As he slowly leaned in and kissed me... and as soon as his tongue went into my mouth everything just disappeared... all my fears, emotions, pain and I knew he was what I wanted. That was my first kiss.I just stood there smiling and he laughed and said “What?” and all I could say was “Wow”. He goes “Why wow?” I told him that was my first kiss he just smiled and we went up to my place. We went back to my room and just laid in my bed holding each other. Then he started kissing me again and I got a lot more kisses the rest of the night... and a few more things but that is just my little secret. I was so happy. I will never replace that night for anything in the world. I don’t regret anything I said or did. I loved it all.I finally took him back to his hotel around 3 a.m. we both had to be at work in the morning. As I was driving back from taking him to the hotel I was so mad at myself. I should have just let him stay the night with me. I should have just held him all night long with me and never let him go. But hopefully I will get that chance again soon.Aaron has become a big part of my life, but I am still trying my hardest to take everything slow and not rush into anything. But I already do care about him so much, and I won’t give up any of this time with him.I’ve finally moved out of my parent’s house. I now have my own apartment... well not my own I have Jennifer with me. But right now she really isn’t here because she is working so hard in Nashville (which is an hour away). So, it is just Bella and I. Wow, it’s been so long I don’t think I have written about Bella in here! Well, Bella is my puppy. The Saturday after my high school graduation I bought myself a puppy. I haven’t been planning on getting a dog or anything like that. It was just that Thursday I went to the pet store in the mall and I fell in love with this little dachshund puppy, he was so cute but he was $700. There is no way in hell I was going to pay that much for a dog. So my mom went looking through the paper and found a place where I could get a dachshund puppy.That’s how I got my Bella. At first I was going to pay half for her and the parents were going to pay the other half so she could be the family dog but I said no I will just pay for it all so she can be my little baby. We got her in when she was 6 weeks old. So, I am truly her mommy. She was attached to me in the beginning, which I loved. She sleeps with me in my bed, she loves to cuddle with me and she is just a princess. She is very spoiled but that is how all little dogs are. She really helped me get my feelings away from Chris, she has already helped me threw a lot of things and she is still helping me each and every day, giving me the love I need whenever I need it. Here are some pics: X | X | XI should have some better pictures later. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s my little side kick. Well I really don’t know what else to write about now so I guess I will go grab some lunch and think about more stuff to update you guys on... LOVE YA!! I’m glad I’m back... leave me notes and things… make me feel special.
